Skys’ Scrapbook #

[Left page:]

Skys’ 1st Scrapbook Entry

Found this book in a broken place. Thought I’d maybe write stuff down. Like anyone gonna care what I seen or what I been. But got no one else to talk to,so I will talk to myself.

Don’t remember my name. Used to have one, I think. But no one called me it. Just other names. curse-child, bad blood, devil’s spawn. Was born in a place called Novosovia. Cold place, cold all the time. People was colder. I was born with pink hair. That was my first mistake in life. Lots of other kids got white haor. Said it was from something bad in the air. white is bad too, but Pink is worse. Said I was touched by a demon. Said Im not a kid, just a curse.

My parents… tried to keep me hid at first. But… they never looked at me, never talked to me. Kept me shut away like I was sick. Then, on my 8th birthday, they put me outside and never let me back in. I banged on the door, screamed, begged, but they didn’t open it. After a while, I just stopped knocking.

Don’t know what I felt then. Weren’t cold like outside cold. Emptier, like when you don’t eat for days, but it’s in your chest. eating me up from inside. So I kept to myself, finding scraps, hidin’ from people who’d look at me like I was trash. I started thinking they was right.

I walked, kept walking, town to town, just me. Hoping one day I’d just disappear. Didn’t thinl anyone would care. Didn’t know what it felt like to have someone care.

[Piece of paper taped at the bottom of the page that reads: “Heaven of Hell?”]

[Right page:]

Then one day, there was nowhere else to go. I got to the sea, just watching the water, thinkin’ maybe it should walk into it. Hid on a big ship there, in a crate with boxes. Lived off crumbs, sometimes rats. Sometimes rats lived off me. Sometimes rats lived off me. Only thing I could see for weeks was the skys through a crack in the box. All I remember was the skys above me,- -watching me, like it was the only thing that didn’t look away. So when I got to the new world, I told them my name was Skys.

I ended up in a place called Ingleterra. They was in war with Novosovia and a place real far called Colombia. Ingleterra lost. Hard. Whole place looked like junk, streets all busted up, buildings falling down. People wore scars like they was born with ‘em, faces all twisted up. The world felt like it was broke. Then… I met them. The travellers.

They didn’t look at me like I was wrong or broken. Had a big fire going, laughing real loud at nothing. Singing songs. Like they wasn’t in the same world as me, not even close. Said they followed somethin’ called Velama. Said it was a way of life, or maybe more like a voice, one that came from deepinside. Said it told ‘em things, how to see what’s hidden, how to feel what others can’t They called it the spirit of freedom, like nothin’ could hold ‘em down.

And they let me sit by the fire with ‘em. Didn’t push me off or spit. Didn’t yell. Just let me be there. Feels… weird. Don’t got words for it. It’s like hot in my body, but it doesn’t hurt. Keeps me from being- [cuts off]

Don’t know if I’ll stay. I’m scared they’ll turn on me, like all the rest. But for now… maybe I got somewhere to be.

[Piece of paper taped at the bottom of the page that reads: 02 22 3 8]

made by Alec

[Left page:]

VOID? VOID? VOID? VOID? VOID? VOID?

english not so hard. but ppl is. sum words nice. sum words bite. sum words scratch at nite. da air get fin. like d sky brefin slow. i hear d house talk. walls creak like old bones. wispers dat dont got mouths

alby sit close. too close. hand like iron. Eyes like Fenrir. he watch me like a fire hes scared cud go out. sumtimes i fink i gone bruise.

dont say nothin. mayb love feels like drowing slow. mayb thts d price 4 someone caring. how wood i know? i never been loved before.

[Right page:]

WHO DO I BELONG TO?

alby keep talking about dis power in me. a hole wating to be filled. he say d veil is fin now. like skin before a cut. he talk lo. not like a voice.

like a prayer dat hates itself. say im close. clsoe to what, he dont say. but sometimes i feel it. not in d bones, not in d blood.

in. d space between my ribs. like im growing teef where lungs be. i wana ask him what im becomin. but im scared of d anser.

im not scared of d dark

im scared of d light

Transcript by Alec.

[Left page:]

alby show me light. real light. not like sun. this one breathes. he calls it ‘aether sphere’. say it listens. say it like a pet that bites back.

D = the

F is th

i hold one. Humming in my hand. buzzin in my blood. felt like i was bein born again. or set on fire slow.

he said i could throw it. shape it. twist it like smoke. ‘you just gotta believe what aint real yet’. thats how magic works.

[Right page:]

chosen or easy to bend?

we done something new now. ‘lesser cerebral bind.’ not talkin with mouths. talkin with minds. his thoughts slip into mine. mine into his. feels like we made a room inside my head just for us.

he change my face there. pulls it long. smooth. says ‘you look beautiful this way’. I laugh but my teeth itch. he look at me like im a question already answered. sometimes hes inside too long, forgets to leave.

my bones echo with him. I think maybe this is what a real connection feels like? Like bein carved into. i Think it just cause i dont have capacity for Love. I need to be hollowed out to make room. he say im close, say im changing. say im almost pure. i say nothin but inside i’m asking questions.

if this is power, why do I feel like prey?